“Introspection from the Land of Wifedom…”

How much should you realistically expect from your spouse? More specifically in the role of domestic goddess, which many of us share with other tantamount responsibilities such as parent and breadwinner, what really can/should be delegated/shared in household responsibility with our life partners?

If you both work and are strapped for cash to pay hired help, I understand that you both could get a bye for shirking the delegated duties. However, if one is at home, is it possible for the one outside the home not to feel like the shipwrecked spouse has a duty to take on more household responsibility of the other? Or, if one of the partners “gets behind” on their duties, is it wrong to have an expectation that the other will super heroically assist if they have the time, space and opportunity to do it? Are you wrong to be somewhat “salty” if they don’t’? Does it effect how you feel about the relationship?

One of my dearest friends told me that the one of the best ways to find peace in a marriage was to eliminate expectations. After careful reflection, I saw her point. Expectations of how I wanted him to respond, how he should be, what he should be, was distorting how I would feel about the outcome. What I may have desired was not necessarily the reality of the situation. But alas, my efforts to embrace this ideology was a major FAIL. My emotions were too complicated to be successful. If I love and respect you, I have the highest expectations of you--so for me to think you are “all that and a bag of chips” and your responses not mirroring my expectations is not an easy pill to swallow.

So what is the solution? I don’t have one. The only thing I can recommend and do is to continue to reflect and self-analyze, try to communicate and hope that the spiritual walk will put me in a place where none of this will seem so important. Let’s Discuss.

Just Do It!

Those three little words have been archived in the Smithsonian Institution as one of the top five ad slogans of the 20th century. The power in the simplicity of the expression!

It speaks to me because one of my biggest personal demons has been procrastination, which should be painfully ironic for a person who abhors the feelings of regret. Maybe my extreme desire for perfection, protocol--waiting for ideal circumstances (I'm a Virgo) has kept me from achieving goals and my heart's desire. Whatever roadblocks inhibited me in the past I have decided that I am tired of standing in my own way.

Over the summer we had a huge succession of what some would consider as iconic individuals have passed that many feel was before their time--Steve(McNair), Waymon(Tisdale), Michael (Jackson)--people who in some shape or form defined our life experience...gone. These events inspired a national movement of quiet reflection about life. I know that I spend the summer thinking a lot about the value of my own life and purpose.

A childhood friend stated, "Life is the longest thing you will ever do--enjoy it." He was right, if you know that you are going to do something for years it makes no sense to have a miserable existence--you cannot give up on the pursuit of happiness. Nor is it realistic to think that it will just fall in your lap.

Over the past decade, my life has morphed and transitioned to where I could not define it by anyone one name or experience and which sometimes conflicts me inward because all of those worlds, on occasion, collide. Starting a blog is part of my journey--an opportunity to share my thoughts, experiences, perspectives. But most importantly, to facilitate discussion among people from my corner of the universe.

Today I challenge you to get out of your own way and pursuit something you desire--a healthy lifestyle, new personal interests, career, relationships, plans, or new life perspective! When you find your self hesitating within your transition remember--"Just do it " --simple words with a powerful meaning...Just DO it!